Down a rabbit hole again
I am finally writing a memoir!!
It’s about a widow (me) determined to get through the grief process with her mental health intact.
I haven’t written a book before and am finding it quite difficult. I see why it’s called a craft. It’s takes a lot of trial and error to “craft” a good sentence, paragraph, or chapter.
I finally created an outline that feels right. One of the chapters is about selling our house.
It’s the first chapter I have really started digging in to and DAMN it’s hard!!
I knew it was going to be therapeutic for me to write it. But trying to keep a reader in mind or to keep the story flowing takes a lot more work than what you see in a book.
I’m going into some rather deep rabbit holes. For one, because the hole opens and I dive right in. I do that because writing this memoir is as much for me as it is for the readers.
So anyway, the advice I have heard says 30,000 to 40,000 words is a good size. With ten chapters, that’s 4,000 words each. I have ten chapters in my outline. I’m going for 4,000 words each.
I hand wrote most of this chapter first.
Then I typed the notes in to a computer file. The word count was just over 2,000 and I have only written about packing up the house. So, yay!!!!
Now I’m beginning to write about the real estate agent and the whole process I went through. I plunged head first into a rabbit hole about judgement, self confidence, and creativity. One just lead seamlessly into the next.
I can see why writing a memoir is therapeutic!! I’m diving deep. Or am I procrastinating? Ohhhhh, another rabbit hole I can distract myself with.
Ok now. I’m going back to the chapter. Thank you for reading this.
Presents to myself, from myself.
You get to choose a good day
How is March and Spring going for you so far?
Spring is time for new beginnings and awakenings. The flowers and trees are budding. We just took some of our houseplants outside for the warm half of the year.
Our bodies are ready to liven up after the rest and digest period of winter. Movement and cleansing are good areas to explore this season.
I have been drawn to cilantro recently. Chopping it up along with spinach and cabbage for a salad is amazingly refreshing and energizing. Cilantro is good for detoxing too. Perhaps that’s why it has come to me with such strong feelings this season. Give it a try. Or add some other light and leafy green if cilantro doesn’t float your boat. You can add it to sandwiches or salad. Use it as a garnish or make your own version of pico de gallo or a relish. Yum Yum!!
It’s your choice!
Along the thought line of “you get to choose”, how about choosing to NOT accept that guilt trip? Do you ever feel those? Either from inside your own head or from another person? You get to choose. Thank the guilt trip for reminding you to be mindful and let it go on it’s way. Don’t hang on to it. Seriously, guilt will find a home somewhere. You don’t have to hang on to it.
Life gets to be your choice. Live it as you like.
If you could make a change in your life, what would it be?
What do I do now?
I show up for myself. That’s what I do now.
I have dreams and goals. I want them now. Like, right now. I call her my spoiled little bratty self, but that’s not how I would talk to anyone else. So I am learning to not talk to myself, or about myself, with that kind of mean girl language. She’s actually my inner child. She doesn’t have a lot of patience. Haha, understatement.
Anyway, this dream/goal is taking more “work” than I imagined when it was simply a dream. It’s fairly easy to dream, right? Unless you have killed your dreams because of disappointment. I hope that’s not the case, but that’s an issue for another day. In our dreams, the result has already happened. The desire is fulfilled. It’s the stuff in between that stops a lot of people in their tracks. The “work” is real.
By “work” I mean showing up every day whether it feels good, feels in alignment, feels inspiring, or not. Showing up for myself – for my dream – means creating a blog post even though I don’t have a topic picked out. Or it feels like I will just be rambling on about nothing. It is these small building blocks that will make the platform sturdy. It’s the little things.
But you know what I think it is mostly? For me anyway? It’s the discipline. It’s about taking action, imperfect action. It’s the commitment – and the discipline to honor my commitment – to my own dream! Jeez. It seems like a no brainer to show up for my own damn dream.
I’m lucky. I have the determination. I have the drive. I have the heart, the brains, and the courage. I will keep going because the alternative kills my soul. I can’t do that. I won’t do that.
What about you? What’s your dream? Have you started working towards it? I would love to know that I’m not alone. Tell me in the comments.
Worst. Advice. Ever.
If building a business was easy, everyone would do it. Truer words were never spoken.
When I first started building my wellness business, I was hungry for advice. Since it’s 2020, the “Information Age”, I was always on the internet, especially social media. After all, it was there that I found my wellness path. Surely the business experts were on there too.
I’m a complete newbie at this yall. My collar is blue as blue can get. Although I had always had dreams of creating my own thing and being completely independent, I never did it. I gave a few pathetic attempts, but it was like throwing rocks in the dark expecting to hit something.
Wanna hear the worst advice I ever got? Don’t spend your time doing work that isn’t “producing” income. Ummmm hello. Only 20% of my effort produces any income at all. The other 80% supports the 20%. I kept glossing over the 80% and feeling like shit because I wasn’t getting anywhere.
I finally decided/learned/wised up that organizing my work space was hugely important. Writing in my journal was very important. Keeping up with a planner (even if all it says is call the bank and exercise) is important.
It’s making me feel comfortable. It’s making me feel good in my workspace. Not guilty, but good.
I love to say that my space is a “no guilt trip zone”. I should take my own advice more often. Do you do ignore your own advice?
I’m comfortable, thanks.
Have you heard the saying “growth is outside of your comfort zone”?
Maybe you don’t even want to grow. Perhaps your life is the BEST, MOST FABULOUS life you could ever imagine. If so, congratulations! I would wager that the majority of us couldn’t/wouldn’t say that with complete honesty and sincerity.
Stepping outside of your comfort zone is growth. It is expansion. The box you are in gets bigger. The walls retreat a little. You get more space to move about the cabin. It feels good, yes?
What does stepping outside your comfort zone mean?
Picture this. It’s comfortable to sit there in you slippers, comfy pants that don’t bind, right by the heater, with your favorite beverage within reach. That is comfortable. That’s your comfort zone.
Outside of your comfort zone though, it’s hard walking down the basement steps. It hurts your knees and your hips. Your pants are too tight. And you don’t like to look at your reflection in the mirror. This is outside of your comfort zone. This is uncomfortable.
However, to get rid of the creaky knees and clackey hips, to be comfortable in your skin – and clothes, to love and honor your reflection, you will have to get uncomfortable on purpose.
You have to hmmm…… maybe exercise? That means sweating. That means feeling like you can’t breathe. That means your thighs are on fire. All of that is purposeful uncomfortableness. And all of that begins to lessen the pain of walking down the basement steps. The sweating, burning, gasping for air is – WAY – very very very uncomfortable. But it will end soon. Your endorphins will flood your brain. And you will feel great. Your comfort zone will reach a new high.
And your uncomfortable zone shrank.
For one, you learned that you are going to keep breathing. You learned that your thighs are still there. They didn’t burn up. The sweat will dry. Basically, you didn’t die.
For two, your clothes start fitting better. It will get easier to walk down the steps. And when you look in the mirror, you can congratulate the reflection for being so strong.
You, my friend, have just stretched your comfort zone because you stepped outside of comfort and got seriously uncomfortable. (Believe me, your next workout will be ever so slightly easier too.)
You just experienced growth and expansion. You just stepped closer to you BEST, MOST FABULOUS life. Keep going Sis!